11 Things to do when your bf is out at a poker night/birthday party

Fridays are one of the days my bf and I always plan to go to the gym, but things don't always work out as planned. Tonight instead of working out, he is off losing all his money in a poker game. At least I think he went to the gym this morning, to make up for it. Myself, nah...I just didn't go. So, this is what I did instead...

1. Make cheese quesadillas using tortillas bf made and brought you last night. Wonder if bf wants you to get fat. Remember that it wasn't his idea to cover them with cheese and saute them in butter.

2. Look wistfully at gmail, willing sales to come in. When they do start coming in, realize that they are all for IMVUCREDITS.COM and that you are paying ThereBucks sellers with money earned from IMVU credits and find that rather depressing.

3. On a whim, check kittenkat's tbux site and see there are six sellers all trying to sell ThereBucks at the same time. Remember fondly the times of being one of six sellers trying to compete with each other for sales and never leaving the computer/apartment or going to sleep for fear of missing a sale or having to list self for a period of time longer than one hour. Cheer up considerably thinking about this and about how you pay ThereBucks out in ten minutes or less without being chained to the computer, as well as at the thought that that site must be much farther behind paying sellers than you are, since some of their regulars are now coming to you.

4. Realize that for the last nine months since you left Kittenkat's tbux site (okay, were kicked off for automating most of your buying process) your main site, http://jinx.tv, has been pointing potential or lost customers to that other site. Ooops! Download and install a new version of Dreamweaver onto your tablet pc and spend hours downloading your entire jinx.tv site, which has a huge amount of content you kind of forgot about, just to get to the few pages you want to edit. Six hours later, finally fix the link and tidy up some redirect pages.

5. Take the five bucks you won from your bf on that bet about whether you were wearing any underwear, the five bucks from the bet about whether Carmen Electra was ever married to Dennis Rodman and the five bucks from the bet about where a certain bottle of wine you both liked came from and combine them all to finally go to the store and buy a few essentials, like toilet paper. Idly wonder if bf lets you win these bets on purpose.

6. Once home, use the bathroom about five times even though you don't have to, just to revel in Charmin Ultra Soft decadent goodness.

7. Get text on iPhone telling you that your monthly payment didn't go through. This is weird because text messages haven't worked, in fact the entire EDGE network hasn't worked on your phone for the last three days. Try and fail to make payment online. Call customer service and try and fail to make payment with automated voice service. Talk to three customer service agents, none of whom knows when the EDGE network will be working but the last of whom is able to make your payment go through, thus charging you even more money for the text messages and Internet services that aren't working on your phone. Rollover amount now on iPhone: $233

8. Swear if you have one more piece of soy protein or one more bit of wheat gluten "meat" or one more starchy food, you are going to hurl. Break self-imposed rule about not buying anything with PayPal debit card to go to discount grocery and buy a bag full of fruits and vegetables. Eat a heaping plate of crudite and...oh yes...a Häagen-Daz chocolate mint ice cream bar and forget, at least during the time you are devouring "baby" carrots and english cucumbers, that your bf is off smoking cigars and eating giant slabs of meat.

9. Text bf through the Verizon website, asking if he wants to make bowtie pasta with tomato rosemary cream sauce for dinner tomorrow night. Get no response. Not like you expected one.

10. Realize you should be preparing a spot to put the gargoyle wall unit bookcases and desk you'll be getting on Sunday. Take out portable blacklight you got recently and use it, along with a couple bottles of "urine-off" to check for cat urine that ended up in computer/office room from an ill-fated attempt at getting cats to use a litter box outside on the balcony instead of the kitchen. Find urine in the most disgusting places, like way up on the wall next to where the cat tree used to be and on a few vertical blinds. Hey, they don't call him Rodney "pee-tail" Kitty for nothing! Decide it would be a good idea to recommend a blacklight and some urine-off to any and every cat owner you know, but that maybe people should wear a gas mask and that it might be most appropriate to use around Halloween, when it seems festive and seasonal to truly horrify and freak yourself out. Or, perhaps after a particularly inspiring episode of CSI.

11. Get phonecall from slightly tipsy bf, who is finally done with poker night, says that "yes it was strip poker and I lost all my clothes" just to please you, and who very much wants to make bowtie pasta with tomato rosemary cream sauce tomorrow night.